Dating Is Dead, and We Totally Killed It.

If you talk to your single friends, you’ll most likely find that the general consensus is that dating sucks right now. Single-looking-for-a-relationship status is a tough one to be in. Especially for women. Now you may be expecting a male bashing post, but that’s not what you’re going to get.

This post is all about how we are bringing up our kids. How we raise boys versus how we raise girls. I’ve touched on this before, and am coming back to it now because it has really eff’ed with my own dating life.

We did women a solid and started raising them to be comfortable being strong, smart, opinionated, and independent women. Females are taught that they should be comfortable expressing their mind, expressing their feelings, and expressing their needs. We have started teaching young girls that they can be whatever they want in life, from CEO to President of the United States. That they can freely speak their mind, and turn down or put a stop to things and behaviors they do not like. This was a very important change in how we started bringing up our girls. It was a much needed and long-awaited change. While it has started, it still isn’t happening everywhere though.

What we forgot to do, was change how we are bringing up our young men. Men nowadays don’t quite know what to do with the women that have been lucky enough to be brought up in this way. They are still being taught that they are the ones that will go out and be the bosses, owners, and leaders in the world, along with other men. They are not taught that women are their peers. We don’t teach them that women have a say in things, and to respect the wishes of females. This is what makes it so hard for some men to take no as a one-time and final answer from a woman.

There are very real differences in how men and women think, and process information and feelings, but that should not affect teaching children that both men and women can be strong and independent. Single men now don’t know how to react to women that don’t need them. They are very offended, some even threatened, by this concept, when it really is a huge compliment. If someone doesn’t need you, yet wants to spend every day with you, that is quite flattering! It says a lot of good things about your character.

What we should have been doing, is teaching boys and girls how to lead together, regardless of sex. Accept the fact that males and females are different creatures, and teach kids how to accept this as well, without limiting roles we teach them about. “Yes, you are a very big boy. You will probably be able to squat more than her, but she may be able to out-sell you. If she does, she will also make more money than you.”

We also need to let boys express their feelings, from the very beginning. Strong and independent women don’t have time for games and bullshit. There’s nothing that will end a relationship faster than realizing you cannot have an adult conversation with someone. And by adult conversation, I mean direct, truthful, and tactful. If we keep teaching men they are not supposed to talk about their feelings, they are never going to cut it with the modern woman.

I do, however, believe that old dogs can learn new tricks, so if you are a man reading this, and agree with what’s being said, shed the olds ways and hop on into the new.

3 Reasons Boys Are Easier To Raise

tough baby

When you hear people talk about wanting to have kids, or you hear people commenting to someone who just found out they’re having a kid, you often immediately hear the question “Do you want a boy or girl?” Some people don’t care either way, as long as the baby is healthy. A lot of people, on the other hand, hope they have a boy because “Boys are so much easier!” WHY??!

If it were proven that boys potty train better, get along with other children better, and are better listeners than girls, I’d be all on board with this reasoning! Ummm, that ain’t the case though!

Let’s be honest, most people with this argument just don’t want to have to deal with any issues surrounding sex and raising a little girl. Let’s take that honesty a step further, and say that what men are taught about sex, is completely different than what women are taught about sex.

Here’s what makes raising boys “easier” than raising girls…

#1.) Girls have to be taught how to cover up the bodies that they will grow into, and simultaneously be taught how important the way that body looks is.

You better not be to big, too curvy, too flat, too wrinkly, or too lumpy. Don’t do anything to scar up that skin, but don’t show too much of that skin off. If you wear clothes that show off the curves you have, boys will put their hands on you anyway they so choose, and that will be YOUR fault. If you don’t want someone touching you, don’t let yourself be seen. It’s not reasonable that you should be able to stand up for yourself and verbally let someone know if they can touch you or not, let alone being taught how to physically stand up for yourself. Besides, boys can’t be taught to control urges like girls can.

#2.) Boys can have sex with as many people (really just girls, because people aren’t comfortable with them sleeping with boys yet either, but that’s for another post…) as they want and it won’t affect how they are viewed by others.

The thing that’s flawed with this, is that these boys have to have girls to sleep with for this to happen, but no one wants for it to be their daughter. Girls have to be taught that sex is meaningful, special, and between two people that really care for each other on top of all the other sex ed stuff. That takes SO much more time!

#3.) Girls have feelings and emotions to deal with.

This one is for you fellas. Why can’t men have feelings too? I admit, women are MUCH more emotional than men. Some of them WAY too much so, but that doesn’t mean boys have to be taught to be a stone wall to offset this. I’ve known too many guys that feel they have to hide their feelings about things around their friends, and can only open up to the girl friends they have. Not fair. I guess it’s just easier to shut that shit down in the beginning, when the boys are young. Teach them all urges relate to something physical, no thinking about it needed. They can handle it, they’ll be men one day!

So I guess the secret’s out! Boys ARE easier to raise than girls because it takes SO much more time with girls.. Ugh. I really need a vomit emoji.