Being Strong Is One of the Loneliest Places To Be

funny or die house sxsw 2016
Photo by Riley Blanks

I am strong. I know this, as do most people that spend any extended amount of time with me. This makes me dependable, capable, independent, and self-sufficient. It can also make me very lonely.

I live by myself, and I love it. I have everything just the way I want it. I have had great success with my job, which means I have a very packed schedule that I must put as a top priority because I want to remain successful. If I want to go grab lunch, a drink, watch a movie, or visit a cool spot, I have no problem going by myself. This doesn’t mean I don’t like hanging with other people! I am very social. I’d actually prefer to do those things with people, but am not a very good planner when it comes to getting out and about, so it’s often very last minute. This makes it really hard to get friends to join when you’re giving them about a 15 minute heads up.

I think all the above-mentioned things also give the impression that I’m very particular about what I will and will not enjoy doing. When it comes to social outings, I am pretty down for whatever though. If someone takes the time to plan something out, I love just going along for the ride. Strong and independent folks like being able to let loose; not be responsible for a little while.

When people know someone is strong and they don’t need other people, they don’t ask those people if they want company. Needing something and being able to appreciate something are two totally different things though. I don’t need anyone to keep me company, but I love having good company and a friendly listening ear.

Just because you know a person “will be fine”, or “can handle anything”, doesn’t mean it’s going to be an enjoyable situation for them. Strong people, myself especially, often won’t ask for help; not because they don’t trust anyone to help, but because they know they are capable of handling the situation, and a lot of times it’s just faster to get it done on your own. If you’re dealing with a scenario that is not fun, you want it to be over as quickly as possible. I’ll tell you, support is always appreciated, even if it comes after the fact.

Supporting a strong person is not the easiest thing in the world either! They’re going to tell you that they will be alright. They don’t want to burden their circle with their worries. The best thing to do to help a strong friend out, is to just take the initiative. Don’t ask their opinion, just hop on in there with whatever version of support that you have to offer. Trust me, they’ll be taken back and love you even more for it.