Don’t Be a Dick Because I Don’t Have One

I’m a pretty bubbly person. I smile, a lot. I also value hard work, and have a very intense grind mode. When I’m in grind mode, just sit back and watch me work.

I have worked in the customer service industry in some form or fashion for over 20 years now. I am just about always having to be “on”. My work ethic has put me in a position, at just about every job I’ve had, to have added responsibility. I thrive in high demand environments.

This all sounds great, right? It is. There is one thing I had to deal with though, and plenty of women are still dealing with it, that no male ever would. Like ever, ever. When I get in my zone, and start getting things done, I’ve got my serious face on. The one where I am ready to dominate whatever tasks lie ahead. There is nothing worse than being in this zone, and having someone come up to you, interrupt your flow, just so they can say, “Hey, why aren’t you smiling??”

“Whaaaaa?! You really interrupted me, for THAT?!”

I get it, people love my smile. (It’s an alright smile.) If you wanna see it, try saying something smile worthy! You would NEVER walk up to any man in any work place, who was clearly amid some form of work, stop his momentum, and ask him why he wasn’t smiling. Never. Don’t even pretend like you would, cause I know you’re lying.

There is still some lingering standard left over from the 1950’s about the role women play in the work force. I had to deal with it mostly when I was in the service industry working at the number of high volume establishments I was employed by. Fortunately, my current job is amazing, and I work with badass adults who just get it. I know there are women out there dealing with this in non-service industry jobs as well. One of my best friends gets it like every other day!

This happens outside of work too. I can be having a regular moment, running errands, or walking through the store, and some stranger will come up and ask… I mean, come on man! Why aren’t YOU walking around with a cheesy ass grin on your face?

If you want to see a woman smile, don’t ask her why she is not smiling, say something nice, or funny, or charming that will put a smile on her face. Trust me, you’ll like the smile you get from that a whole lot more anyway. (;

Strong Women Need Strength (Part 2)

In the last month, I’ve been told by two different women that they would either be scared to date me, or not know what to think of me if they were a guy. One was referring to my physical strength, and the other to my personality. She said my personality would be “confusing.”

This got me thinking. Strong women not only need strength from their men, but from other women too. We should be applauding someone out there achieving their goals, who’s not just focused on finding a husband!

Stop conforming to what the Lost Boys are looking for. They want a girl that either can’t, or won’t challenge them in any way. The “go along with everything, no matter what I may want, or have time for” type of girl. When one girl tells another that she couldn’t date her if she were a guy, it’s just helping those guys, who are trying to skate through life doing as little as possible, with the most amount of ass as possible, expand their terrible dating standards for women.

Who cares if a woman is more focused on her career than what she’s going to wear on her date that night?! Why is it a big deal if she’s not super excited to be going on another first date? I am not gonna get excited about hanging out with a guy until I know that he is the type of man I want to spend some of my time with.

As far as not wanting to date me because of how physically strong I am, PLEASE… I cannot take away his manhood with how much I can lift, or the fact that I can do pull-ups. Just about all of being a man lies in his persona. I personally love the gender roles where a man holds the door, carries things, or walks on the side closest to the street. Me being able to lift more than some of the guys out there is not going to take away from that, unless they let it.

From one woman to all of you strong women out there, keep it up. You are amazing. You inspire me to be the best version of myself that I can be. I am going to be that version with or without a man in my life. Count on that.

Strong Women Need Strength (Part 1)

The older I get, the more comfortable I become with myself. I love who I am. I know what I want out of life. I don’t depend on anyone to make what I want happen. This makes me a strong woman. I am proud of that.

This also makes dating hard as fuck!

Strong women need strength from whomever is going to be in their life romantically. We have goals, and are highly motivated to achieve them. You can’t get butt hurt when you are not the center of our attention at all times of the day. It’s nothing personal if we don’t text you throughout the day. We are busy; trying to make things happen; furthering ourselves along.

If you want to date a strong woman, you need to have your own goals to focus on, something that you are thinking about all day. Send a good morning/have a beautiful day text, and don’t expect to hear/read anything, other than a reciprocation of that, back until anywhere from the end of the day, to two days later. For real tho, some weeks are just that busy.

Strong women are attracted to people that are going places in life, and accomplishing things. We need a partner that is not going to be intimidated by the fact that we don’t need anyone else to get things done. Support is always appreciated, just not a necessity. We love hearing that you think we’re doing a good job, or that you love our ideas, we’re just not going to ask to hear it. You have to do that on your own, and if you do, we will show our appreciation.

To keep one of these gems around, you’re gonna have to get comfortable with decision making. We’ve been making decisions, giving recommendations, and guiding people all day. The last thing we want to do is have to decide where we are going that night, or even what movie we’ll be watching. I’ve driven around for an hour before trying to decide where I want to eat, only to end up just going home and finding whatever I can in the pantry! No lie. Those decisions seem small, but after a busy week, they are just not happening in this brain. Trust me, if I care, I will tell you. It’s just that, most of the time, I won’t care.

Lastly, if you are into a strong lady, don’t tell her she’s intimidating. That is not considered a compliment. In fact, that’ll kill it, right then and there. She’ll respect you a lot more for paying her an actual compliment, and you may just make her day a little better, which might make her want to stop what she’s doing and talk to you…

We are strong women. We. Need. Strength. Just be yourself and take charge.

funny or die house sxsw 2016
Photo by Riley Blanks Photography